Saturday, 14 July 2012

The Event that Cannot be Named

It is said to have been the Twitter account of Waterstones, Oxford St who suggested that the festival of sporting competition that will shortly be taking place in an unnamed city forty miles south of Husborne Crawley and forty south-east of Oxford be referred to as "#Voldesport" - the event that cannot be named.

It's a strange thing that we are holding an event that we should be proud of, but in the United Kingdom it is associated with expensive (non-British) beer; inefficiency in the recruitment of security staff and heavy-handed treatment of boys on bikes. Frankly all we need now is for Boris Johnson, armed with a few dozen red roses, to find himself on the loose, late at night, in the women's section of the Olympic Village. The whole shambles would then be complete.

What seems to irk most is heavy-handed brand protection. At one point the site tells us they don't mind planting schemes using colours such as red, blue or white seem to imply that they could object to our use of colours if they felt like it - do they really think they might have control over the colour red if they so chose? Well, whatever brand it is, it's taking quite a battering. I'm glad the Beaker Folk haven't chosen to sponsor it. Where's Harry Potter when you need him?


  1. My friend who lives near the rowing lake used for the *** event despite her life being thoroughly disrupted is not allowed to sell her honey from home for the duration. It's hard to see how the produce of a couple of hives during the wettest summer since Noah inaugurated ark building is a threat to anyone's commercial interests.

  2. It's a total disgrace that the event that can't be named, otherwise knows as 2012London or The Polemics, is in the hands of such blundering fools as Lord Cooee and 4GS.

    I live about 8 miles south as the Crow flies from the Polemic stadium. Luckily, there is a wide river between us and them, but they are still going to intrude into our lives. Our local roads are to be turned over to convoys of officials for the Polemics to travel unrestricted and unsullied by the hoi polloi and we face a doubled fine if we dare to stray into their paths.

    The Mayor of the Polemics is heartily swinging the lead and glad handing anyone with money attached, while we plebs pay through the nose with our Council Tax for the freebee's being afforded to the great and not so good.

    Meanwhile a Scottish sounding foreign food retailer has somehow grabbed total control over branding and has even sequestered the national dish of Fish and Chips, so that you now need to have chips with some sort of meat accompanying them.

    As the same time, some Polemic organiser, has managed to to intimidate the local authorities in a Kentish location where some form of two wheeled sport is to take place that they are closing roads for weeks at a time, completely cutting off several villages. Local businesses are being prevented from trading as somehow the Polemics and foreign food outlet has grabbed the right to all trade in that area for the duration.

    The scandal attached to the 2012London Polemics will hang around. The smell has already started as the S4G company organising security has made such a cock of it all that thousands of unarmed military personal are required to intimidate the public and anyone else at the entrances and exits to polemic venues.

    I've been on to Australia House about migrating, preferably in the next two days - but have been told that the 2012London Polemics take priority and as I might be a foreign sportsman seeking asylum, they are not allowed to do anything until 2014.


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