The Church of England was reeling today at the discovery that one of its members is not a member of a pressure group.
Marvin Grundy, 52, of Little Withering, is not a member of WATCH, Forward-in-Faith, Fulcrum, Reform, Changing Attitude, Affirming Catholicism or even its grumpy offshoot, Disapproving Dissent.
Being in a position of total neutrality, with no pre-formed views or vested interests, Mr Grundy is therefore being totally ignored by anybody consulting about anything in the Church of England at the moment.
"You know, I just find it less stressful not being a member of pressure groups," said Mr Grundy. "I was a member of the Campaign for Real Ale for a while, but lager's not bad too, so I just kind of let it lapse."
As a laissez-faire, unpolitical religious non-activist, Mr Grundy attends church on Sunday, receives Communion, has a cup of tea and then goes home. The rest of the week he just tries to get along with people. It is believed there may be more like him - they're just very hard to find.