Wednesday, 31 July 2013

Liturgy for the re-ordering of Stationery

Charlii: Behold, for the time is at hand.

All: For the A4 runneth low. The stapler staggers, hungry and reeling from lack of staples. And the Markers have lost all their magic.

Charlii: I wander through the Beaker Office, yet can I find no toner. The Tippex has been poured out like water, and all the Post-its are as Sodom and Gomorrah.

Young Keith: Let us go down, oh Beloved, to where Burton keeps the order form. And there let us place a whopping great order.

All: Sweeter than honey on the tongue is the chance to get in some decent office supplies.

Young Keith: So they placed their order:

Burton: Unto the users of staples, eight packs and two new staplers. And unto those that still use correcting fluid, 3 bottles. And for those that use dry-wipe whiteboards, 30 dry-wipe markers. And unto those that understand not the concept of "dry-wipe", a new white board. And unto the "Agile Worship Planning Team", many packs of 3x5 cards. For it is made known only to those with ears that hear to know, that Agile project management was a last, desperate invention of the index-card industry.

All: And so the ordering went on day and night, and a ton of supplies arrived,  and for forty days and nights did they stock up the stationery cupboard. Until the day arrived that brought the Treasurer the invoice. And there was a great wailing and gnashing of teeth.

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