All: Should see some swing.
ConfessionAll: We confess that we have not moved our feet.
We have played across the line.
We have not got our bodies behind the ball in the deep
nor have we walked in as the bowler approached.
We have left alone balls we should have played
and swung at balls at which we should not have swung.
And there isn't a single century among us.
No, not even a fifty.
Liturgy of Blaming the SelectorsCharlii: Honestly, what were they playing at? 215 all out?
All: Why drop Compton? What did he do wrong?
Charlii: And as for selecting Pietersen....
All: all style no substance.
Charlii: Hope Swanny's going to hold up. Should spin by Saturday.
All: Monty might have been the better bet.
Liturgy of HopeThough we are sore cast down at 215 all out
and though our middle order collapsed as it were in the days of Gatting, Gower and Gooch
and though our tail wagged as does the tail of the cat that is called Manx,
yet my soul will not be downcast.
In this only will I hope
that the Aussies are even worse than we are.
In Jimmy Anderson will we trust.
And though a nightwatchman may last for the night
Hopefully Broad will come on in the morning.