Sunday, 12 October 2014

Children, Disrupting Worship

[Inspired by this from the blog Because God is Love.

A guest post, which I have had to transcribe from his comments, by little Jordan in Little Pebbles...

"I like Sunday service. And I like adults. It's good for adults to worship but they have to learn to worship like children. And the adults are very disruptive.

Like I think Grizwolda thinks that God is a snake, because all the way through she goes 'Sssshhhhhh." And she looks at us in the kids' corner like she wants us to go "Sssshhhhhh" too. But we're worshipping God by banging the drums. Like the Bible tells us to. And i don't think God is a snake at all. Cos there is a snake in the Bible but it's not God. But maybe Grizwolda likes the snake better? I think maybe Eileen should tell her that the snake isn't God.

And they make us stay in the corner, which is disruptive. Because if you are so pleased to be with Mum and Dad when they're not at work that you want to run to be with them, you're shut in. And if you climb over they tell you off. And if you throw a box at Rodri to let you out, he joins the snake worshippers.

And then Eileen talks to us for five minutes about God. And it's very simple stuff. I think it's so the grown ups can understand it. But they don't always get the answer (which is Jesus) so we have to tell them.

And then they make us go out to the Little Pebbles Room, which disrupts our worship. But we stick things on big sheets of paper and learn about Jesus. We have quite a lot of teachers. Some of them say they only do it so they don't have to listen to Eileen.

When we go back in again, Eileen has been talking to all the grown ups and some of them are asleep. I think they're over-tired from the excitement. But when I start banging the drum, the snake people wake up. Some of them just stare hard at Mummy.  I think they're the really high-up snake people. They're like Basil-ists. They are trying to turn Mummy to stone.

And sometimes Eileen tells people that to get into Heaven you've got to be like children. And all the snake-people smile at her. Because they think they know better, and you have to be like a snake.

And at the end, when we went out, I heard one of them say; "that was ruined for me by the children's noise." And we had our time spoilt by having to be quiet, and surrounded by snake people, and going in and out, and when Eileen asks us what we've been doing they get angry because they can't understand us because they've not got their hearing aids in.

And at the end they eat biscuits and coffee but you can only have one biscuit because Eileen is very poor. And because she's really old like Great Nan, you get pink crunchy biscuits like Great Nan has. And squash. Red squash, which isn't orange squash.

On evenings during the week, Mummy sometimes goes to the service on her own, and she says it's very quiet and there's no songs and there aren't any children. Which doesn't really sound like proper Church at all. But maybe that means the snake people could go to that service instead? Then they could hiss all they like without disrupting worship for other people. And on Sundays we could bang our drums without getting carried outside until it's all finished."


  1. Absolutely brilliant. Snake people are part of the reason I left ministry!

  2. Wonderful and horribly true.

  3. I don't know whether to laugh or cry


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