Introit: Sonny Boy
Archdruid: Oh I Say!
All: What ho, old gel!
Hymn: Sonny Boy
Confession
Archdruid: OK, I've read the contents of the Junior Ganymede club book, and suffice it to say you've all been rotters, beazles, scourges on civilisation and all-round bounders.
All: We're sorry.
Galahad: I'm not.
Archdruid: Well, you're all forgiven. Especially Gaily (smiles coyly, remembering something that happened in '97)
Archdruid: Except..... Spode.....
Lord Spodecup: Yes?
Archdruid: I know about "Eulalie".
Lord Spodecup: Curses! I can no longer be a dictator.
Archdruid: True. You could maybe join UKIP?
Hymn: Sonny Boy
Poetic Reading: "When Cynthia Smiles"
Hymn: Sonny Boy
Old Testament Reading: the story of Jael, wife of Heber (read by Miss Honoria Glossop)
Hymn: Sonny Boy
Sermon: Christian Love
All: Spare us the lengthy digression into the family life of the early Assyrians!
Hymn: Sonny Boy
Psalm
All: Gosh, isn't everything jolly?
Plump pigs, cocktails, spats and cats and tennis
Water spaniels and Aberdeen terriers
Bread roll fights,
Blacking-up to play Banjoleles
[Archdruid: NO! We're using the Revised Liturgy! You can't do that anymore! ]
All: The Blessed Damozel leaning over the bar of heaven
The stars, which God has threaded as his daisy chain,
The little bunnies which look just like gnomes....
Gussie Fink-Nottle: The Blessed Damozel makes me sick.
Archdruid: I now publish the banns of marriage between a random assortment of people, some of whom will no doubt be together by the end of the service.
Hymn: Sonny Boy
Dismissal
Archdruid: Tally Ho!
All: Tinkerty-tonk!
Recessional Hymn: Sonny Boy
I love you.
ReplyDeleteWhat ho, what ho! Thanks for this rummy plummy tribute.
ReplyDelete