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Saturday, 25 October 2014

Litany of Fear for Apple Users

Archdruid: And so we await the Hour of Fear

All: The 2am clock-change

Archdruid: Will Apple users be awakened at 3 o'clock?

All: Or fall into another dimension?

Archdruid: Will they awake in Greenwich Time?

All: Or Rocky Mountain Time?

Archdruid: Is this the real life?

All: Is it just fantasy?

Archdruid: Leaving British  Summer Time

All: No escape to GMT.

Archdruid: Will they be late for church or work?

All: Or gazing, blankly, into the darkness of 3am?

[Archdruid: Picture angular glimpses of sharp youth cutting strident shapes through the curling grey of 3am.  Hear the soaring joy of immaculate rhythms, the sublime glow of music for heroes driving straight to the heart of dance.  Follow the stirring vision and the rousing sound on the path towards journeys to glory.]

Archdruid: Let us pray that we will know what day it is tomorrow.

All: For, so addicted are we to our iPad Minis, we're not sure what today is.

Archdruid: So it's a great leap backward.

All: Into the future.

Archdruid: And now we sing the Apple Clock-Change Hymn

Hymn

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
Your old road is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.

1 comment :

  1. It's been a mess since Adam and Eve first broke the Apple terms and conditions in the Garden of Eden

    ReplyDelete

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