Breaking news...

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Charges for Criticism

Thanks to Broadway Hotel, Blackpool for the idea.

From now on, the tariff of charges is as follows:

Pilgrims criticising the Community........................................... £40

Accusations of heresy ................................................................£50

Pinging hazelnuts at the picture of Mother Julian ....................... 20p

Moaning about the food .............................................................£28

Letters to the Church Times ....................................................... £4

Comments on Guardian Articles .................................. 10 a penny

Complaining that things ain't what they used to be .................. 2 guineas

Failure to return borrowed pebbles after three days .............10p per pebble

Theft of the Ark of the Covenant ............................. 50 tumours of gold

Trolling the archdruid on Twitter.............................................. £45

Failure to read the small print .................................................... priceless


4 comments :

  1. Tumours? You mean they're not haemorrhoids!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Complaints to be paid for on the blog.

    Perhaps your regular commentators should be rewarded for their contribution to your position in the blogger ratings.

    I'm thinking of £1 a letter, £10 a word and £300 for each full paragraph.

    Please publish the address for my invoice.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Do you give discounts for multiple charges?

    ReplyDelete

Drop a thoughtful pebble in the comments bowl