Thursday, 16 February 2017

God Loves Men Who Hate Going to Church

Once again I met Archdruid Eileen today. She was gloating about the vote by the clergy in the Church of England to reject the bishops' report on suppressing ungodliness. And I told her I was concerned that this sort of behaviour was reducing the manliness of the Church of England - if, indeed, it has any left.

Eileen referred me to a book called "Why Men Hate Going to Church", which is apparently being critiqued by a friend of hers on Twitter.

A great book, and one that has inspired me to turn the ethos of the Funambulist Baptist Church to ensure we attract more men.  Doing a quick nose-count of last Sunday's service, for instance, I believe we had 29 women and 12 men at church: roughly a 3:2 ratio.  My ambition for the Funambulist Baptists is that, over the next twelve months, we aim for a 1:1 ratio between men and women.

To that end, I am introducing some men-friendly rules. Although not in a "living by the Law" way - strictly in a "godly behaviour" way.  From now on, men are forbidden from shaving. We shall be more manly within the week.


  1. The hirsute men you have will be a big turn off for their women folk (unless of course they are all gay) and will denude you of men or women in your church.

  2. The intention is to put the women off, thereby reducing the attendance to 12 women and the same 12 men. Thus the 1:1 ratio is achieved.


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