Beaker Folk and Anglicans

People have been commenting that there seems to be a similarity between we Beaker Folk and Anglicanism.  Nothing could be further from the truth, and I would like to point out the differences to clarify this matter:

• The leader of the Beaker Folk is someone of great holiness who makes profound but incomprehensible statements. Her followers generally listen to her with great respect, and then totally ignore whatever it was she was trying to say. 
  
• We are a democratic organisation, whose unelected leaders draw their authority from a group of former leaders in the remote past.
  
• Although sharing a common set of beliefs, every sect within Beakerism is entitled to believe whatever they like.  The leaders try not to be too dogmatic, for fear of offending somebody.  Especially the Moon Gibbon people - they can get really nasty.
  
• We have a Moot, not a PCC.  The Moot never spends hours discussing what wattage of light-bulb should be used to replace the one in the church lavatory.  Instead we spend hours discussing whether the tea-lights should be paraffin- or wax-based.
  
• If a Beaker Person disagrees with a new innovation, they never refer to the fact that it was tried during the time of the previous incumbent and didn't work then.  Instead they refer to it having been tried in the time of Archduid Zinglewix (2045-2022 BC) and it didn't work then.
  
• Although we are in favour of all-member ministry, the leader of the Beaker People must be a woman.  There's no theological  principle behind this - it's because she owns the house.
• Beaker People are not frightened of the concept of "Mission".  We just need to work out how to do it, without offending people of other faiths, cultural sensitivities and attitudes to the Moon Gibbon, and without making ourselves look like fanatics or idiots... and then we'll get right on with it.
  

I hope this has set matters to rights at last.