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Saturday, 3 May 2014

The Vicar that Even Drinks and Smokes

It's hard to wrench much sense out of the Telegraph's article on the parish (and apparently its vicar) facing closure in East London. The irony being that it's the one that Rev is based on. The church, that is. The article is based on one in the Mail, but I'm not linking to that.

Unless there's just a really unfortunate coincidence here, I'm going to guess that the church is struggling financially while the vicar is still getting his stipend. Still, he could also have financial difficulties.

And I presume it's the number of worshippers, not the worshippers themselves, who are dwindling? I mean, we all get a bit shorter as we age, apparently. But I'm not aware it's generally that rapid. And shouldn't that be "A Reverend priest and his church in Shoreditch, East London, is are facing bankruptcy"? The priest plus his church clearly make at least two, and he's not an adjective.

But the Telegraph reporter, not Revd Turp, is the one that comes up with the remarkable line "The show even contains scenes of the vicar smoking and drinking."

Well, stap me vitals and call me Bertie. A vicar smoking and drinking? What were they thinking of? A vicar who's a real human being? A vicar drinking..... and smoking? Do they not do that in the Catholic Church, with which the Telegraph is generally more familiar?

After a bit of research, I can reveal that it's even worse than that, in fact. The tobacco plant wasn't available in 1st Century Judea, so we can't say whether or not he would have smoked. But in the popular hit series of the time, "Gospel", the Bible clearly shows scenes of Jesus drinking.

Who knew?
A scene of Our Lord drinking


  1. God once inhabited a burning bush. One theory about this is that He was smoking.

  2. I've never doubted that if Jesus came back now, he'd have been a 'bloke' with all of the Clarkson edges and foot in mouth episodes which have earned Clarkson a few brick bats.

    Off course, he might come back as a Woman, which would be infinitely worse if she drank and smoked - think of the effect on her unborn babies (that's if she decided that being celibate was too OT) and imagine being able to just click your fingers to light a fag and to turn a bottle of that french smelly water into the finest malt whisky.

    There's so many pluses that I think that we should vote for Mr Clarkson to be reincarnated as a female Jesus and he/she could do as they liked without question and we'd follow the freedoms displayed slavishly. No longer a pariah or the target of sneering left wing press, which decries solid working class past times and immoral - win, win in my book. :)


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