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Monday, 24 April 2017

A Cheeky Chancel

Reflecting on the news from last month that a parishioner had accused the vicar of Maulden Church of installing surreptitious children's furniture.  And pondering the concept of a "cheeky" beer or - as is most often quoted - Nando's. Where someone has fitted in a sneaky food or alcohol-based treat that they shouldn't.

What terms should we give to those church improvement features that the minister has slipped into the building without the powers that be knowing? Here are some suggestions.
A Dodgy Doge

A brazen building project
A cheeky underfloor heating system
A clandestine clerestory
A covert communion table
A crafty carpet
An insolent installation of a toilet in the bell tower
Some mischievous misericords
A naughty nave
A quick quire-sacking
A saucy ailse
A secret monstrance
A shadowy pew-removal
A sneaky transept
A subversive east-facing altar
A surreptitious children's corner
An unannounced altar rail
An undercover undercroft
An unexpected Asparagusfest
An unverified coffee bar
A well-publicised modernism

2 comments :

  1. An anti-social Vicar
    An anti-Eucharist Church Warden.
    A solemn wedding.
    A shaky Matins.
    An unexpected Evensong.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anything that does not need to be screwed to the wall or cemented in counts in my book as 'de minimis' and therefore not worth troubling the Archdeacon about. Alternatively, it's 'just standing there until I can get someone to move it into the vicarage loft'.

    ReplyDelete

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