Yokel: It's that Thomas Hardy's Birthday then.
Other Yokel: Aye, same as last year.
All Yokels Together: And the one before.
Yokel: He'm still dead then.
Other Yokel: Aye, same as last year.
All Yokels Together: Dead and gone, as we all shall be.
Other Yokel: And afterwards ride the Skimmington round young Farfrae's house?
All Yokels Together: Wi' all my heart.
Yokel: And shall us collect Christian Cantle on the way?
Other Yokel: No, he've eloped wi' that Miss Fancy Day.
All Yokels Together: Ah, the shame. And she new-married to Dick Dewey.
Yokel: But what's Dick thinking?
Other Yokel: He've bunked up with Tamsin Yeobright.
All Yokels Together: And Diggory Venn the Reddleman have gone off with a milkmaid.
Yokel: So shall we bring Granfer Cantle instead?
Other Yokel: No. His ear's fallen off o' the ague.
All Yokels Together: What? Again?
Yokel: It's a shame young Thomas Hardy's dead though.
Other Yokel: He probably wrote a poem about it.
All Yokels Together: 'A were like that. Always writin' poetry. Bit weird.
Hymn: Haste to the Skimmington
Other Yokel: He probably wrote a poem about it.
All Yokels Together: 'A were like that. Always writin' poetry. Bit weird.
Hymn: Haste to the Skimmington
Want to support this blog? Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you. From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk. |
This pastiche of the Mayor of Casterbridge is uncomfortably close to the (suicidally depressing) original.
ReplyDeleteNever read any Hardy until I started visiting this blog.
ReplyDeletePerhaps I should now desist, given this liturgy.