I gather from the plethora of similar-sized parcels coming off the courier van this morning that everyone has seen Hnaef's lockdown haircut (at a safe distance, while doing his one exercise a day) and decided that getting in electric clippers is the way to go.
Just a hint of a warning. I remember when Burton Dasset decided to go to electric clippers. It was that day 15 years ago, when we stapled him to the lawn with croquet hoops and removed that ridiculous comb-over with hedge clippers. And told him if he grew it again, it would be a scythe next time.
Burton was (eventually) so pleased not to have to keep combing those wispy locks back every thirty minutes, that he went for a Number Zero haircut. But then, vanity, vanity all is vanity. He spent ten minutes every morning bringing it to a beautiful shine.
Then one sunny day like today, he went out for a walk without his cap, and came back with a shiny red bonce.
The following day, his noddle still glowing like Betelgeuse on a bad day, he went for a run in the park. He thought it was safe without his cap, since it was much more overcast that day. The bad news for Burton was that, in the more humid conditions, as he jogged along, he swung away to the on-side and was caught in the leg gully. Not a pretty sight. Don't be like Burton.
On the subject of non-pretty sights. Please can Philbert stop with the naked yoga. When Gove said you could do one piece of exercise outside, this really wasn't what he was imagining. Though I suppose Boris Johnson might have been.
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