Sunday 6 December 2020

Psalm for Sorting Out and Hanging Up the Christmas Lights

Oh wow, how many are the knots
and to what degree are these lights tangled.

I tug them to see if they will come apart
and they huddle together, 
like unto the knot that is Gordian
like unto a nest of serpents that twine in the darkness

If that is what serpents do
I try to stay away from serpents.

I look back to last Epiphany
when I put the lights into their box
consigning them to darkness
even as the light of the year grew.

And I said to myself, "let us not thrown them in randomly
like unto last year 
and the many years of our forefathers and foremothers before us
even like unto those who went down unto the grave
in despair that they could not untangle their bling.

And so I carefully coiled the wires
Keeping the plastic icicles separate
cunningly using those little twisty bits of plastic-covered wire
so that no two wires would be entwined.

And now look at what I have.
A nest like unto a consultant's chart
constructed by Dominic Cummings 
and a superforecaster 
with a hangover.

A solid mass of wire and plastic 
and there is no sign of an end.
When will I see the end?
And yet the end is not nigh.

I struggle all afternoon, even as the light fadeth
and still I have not a single string.

The lights come on in my hand as the timer cuts in
which at noontime I said I would have them hung up
long before this happened.
And still there is no end.

The day turns to evening
the sheep return to the fold
the chickens come home to roost
and I have found the end.

As darkness falls
like unto the Valley of the Shadow of death
I stretch out the strings of lights 
until I have the lights apart.

In gladness I climb the stepladder
hanging up the lights
to celebrate the birth of a king in the middle east
through blue LEDs and plastic things that could resemble icicles.

Some of the icicles are missing.
In vain do I search the loft for the missing icicles
But none are found.
Not in a box
nor on the insulating foam.

And so I resolve to give it in.
90% of the icicles are there.
And maybe nobody will look too closely.
Next year, I will do it better.

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1 comment :

  1. A description of why we, with three cats no longer light a tree indoors. Our tree planted in the front garden has to suffice.


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