Black Friday Ain't What it Used to Be

You know, I remember the good old Black Fridays when we were kids. Back when I was young, it used to mean something. The ruddy faces of the shoppers, as they recovered from the slaps and ear-pulling in Curry's. The Tamagotchi fights that used to break out. I tell, you there was one year I saw a Cabbage Patch Doll dismembered before my eyes because 4 people grabbed the last one.

And how the little children used to wake up in expectation in the early hours Black Friday morning, clapping their hands in the hope of queuing in the dark until Debenhams opened, and Mum could get that spangly dress she'd been promising herself for the Christmas Do. The one that Mum would return two days after the Do, swearing blind it got the smell of sweat and Bacardi just when she tried it on. And then she would buy it again at 70% off in the Blue Cross at the end of January.

And the stories of the mythical IT Elves. And how they worked all night on Black Friday Eve, anxiously watching their servers for signs of strain, checking the orders were flowing through, sacrificing pigeons to the Most High Yantra, the patron deity of all those that haven't invested in their sales order processing infrastructure lately. Many is the tale of IT Elves, after a ninth pint in the nearest pub to the office, realising the app had crashed on their phone and rushing back to randomly restart services until something worked.

Happy Days.

Whereas today, Black Friday has become so spiritualized. People agonise over whether it's good for our souls, this frenzied pursuit of a few pence off something you may not really want. And it lasts a week - which is good news for the IT Elves, as they now have to spend the week in the pub, checking in case anything has gone down, but the strain has been spread.

The ever-increasing worries about whether we have given our souls for consumerism tend to dampen the fun. And the environmental damage of all those computers supporting such a brief peak, the congestion as all of Amazon's Little Helpers hit the road at the same time, the endless packaging around tiny gifts - it's quite taken all the meaning out of Black Friday.

So this year, I feel we should all consider the real meaning of Black Friday. Then get out and spend, regardless of the consequences.

So Merry Black Friday. And a Happy Cyber-Monday.