Tuesday, 25 January 2022

Lament Over the State of the Christmas Quality Street Tin

A tin of Quality Street, viewed from above, with all the nice ones missing

Behold the tin of Quality Street
Its poverty of flavours.
How are the mighty fallen
and the purple ones passed from our sight.

I remember our joy when we opened it
Our eyes full of tinsel and fire 
And our bellies with turkey 
and pigs-in-blankets.

And now behold!
There is a famine of green triangles
Of caramel swirls there is no sign
The milk choc block is as one that has gone down to the pit.

And we have nothing worth eating but fudge.
With tears will we eat orange crunches 
and with sadness consume strawberry delights 
But you can forget the coconut ones.

We suppose toffees are OK
In a "sort of thing our grandads used to eat" kind of way
But the coconut ones will we always have with us
Even unto next Christmas.

In our darkness there is just one ray of light
One shiny wrapper that gladdens our hearts.
At least we've somehow missed eating all the fudge
And so we will sing our grateful song.

All you need is fudge
All you need is fudge
All you need is fudge, fudge
Fudge is all you need.


  1. There is a reason I don't buy Quality Street

  2. Grandads didn't eat the toffees - not good for the dentures


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