Keith: Woe is me. For the office printer has gone on a go-slow at just the wrong time.
All: Have you printed out the Solemn Ritual for the Winter Solstice, which starts at 3pm?
Keith: I have not.
All: Have you printed out the Waving Goodbye to the Sun Liturgy, which starts at 4 pm?
Keith: I have not. For they have both spooled but are printing at the speed of light ale.
Keith: Clearly not.
All: And what about the Christmas Eve Midnight Endurathon?
Keith: Clearly not.
All: Have you reinstalled drivers?
Keith: I have reinstalled drivers.
All: Have you cleared all data and configuration from the printer, and reset from scratch?
Keith: I have cleared all data and configuration from the printer, and reset from scratch.
All: Have you run the Windows troubleshooters but found they have been deprecated?
Keith: I have run the Windows troubleshooters and lo, they have been deprecated.
All: Have you switched off and on the printer?
Keith: I have switched off and on the printer.
All: And the computer?
Keith: And the computer.
All: And then done it the other way round?
Keith: Yes. And the other way round.
All: And both together?
Keith: What are you, my mother?
All: Just trying to help.
Keith: I have tried everything I can think of. Even Google AI, which told me to set fire to the keyboard.
All: And did that help?
Keith: Are you sure you're not my mother? Of course it wouldn't help.
All: What about the modem router?
Keith: I have not done anything to the modem router....
Here Keith may switch off the modem router, and leave it for a minute before restarting.
The Archdruid may enter at this point.
Archdruid: Here! I've just been kicked out of my game of "Peak"! What's going on?
All: It was him.
Keith: The printer's started going properly!
All: Glad we could help.
Dismissal
Archdruid: Can you all please get out of my office? Keith, we need a word about priorities.
It all sounds so familiar.
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