Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Official Disciplinary Procedures for Wives

Drayton Parslow has been recommending me this blog. I am still debating whether to add it to the blogroll, but I was most interested in this post.

Especially, in the question of how to improve one's wife's performance. (By the way, I think we can assume, in the context, that this is referring to men who will be wanting to get their wives to behave better.)
"Remember that your wife and family cannot be viewed as you would your office and workers over which you have charge. You cannot fire your wife and family if they do not measure up."
I'm guessing that this is an American site. You can't just fire your office and workers over here if they do not measure up. (Well, maybe your office. Being it's just a room in a building, it doesn't have any real employment rights).

No, over here if a man has an under-performing spouse, there are a number of prescribed steps he must take to ensure he can, ultimately, fire her without the danger that she will take him to a marital tribunal:

1) The "verbal warning".

This is exactly what it says. The Head of the House sits down and explains to the offending wife the specific area or areas in which she is failing. These should be specific - is she falling down in the area of cookery, cleanliness, a holy and sunny demeanour before other members of the church - or, ahem... you know.... Within a week, the husband gets his HR department to issue her with a memo giving the details of the verbal warning, which both parties must sign.

2) The "written warning"

If the wife's behaviour does not improve, the next stage is the written warning. The wife should be given a week's notice of the meeting. She may bring with her a representative of the wives' and mothers' union. Again, she will be presented with a memo detailing the offences for which she has been disciplined. She will have six months to improve, or the process moves to...

3) Final Warning

Again, the wife will be allowed representation from her union. The outcome of the Final Warning meeting will either be a final written warning or, if there is no sign of improvement in her behaviour, a dismissal. Dismissal will normally be with one months' notice, extended to three months after five years' service.

4) Appeals

All of the above processes are subject to appeal. But the woman will always lose.


  1. Hmm. I can think of a response to this, but it's neither liturgical nor biblical!

  2. I don't want my wife to behave better. She is soooo much FUN when she is being naughty.........

  3. ummm... no, I choose not to say any more than ummmm

  4. They've a store too!
    What fun, you can buy a book of 'mini motivational messages' and a frilly apron for every day of the month.
    'Scuse me must go... feel the urge to puke.

  5. If the woman is dismissed at the end of the procedings she will have won. She loses only if she is retained.

  6. Of course, the much more interesting question is why these women agree to become wives in the first place.

  7. I'm fighting the urge to rush out and do something totally unwomanly and unbiblical. Is there any hope for me?

  8. All you have to do is pray with your head uncovered.
    I rather think that you will get away with it.
    At least I hope so.....

  9. OK, it's a big world, and some people choose lives I never would. I remember one man who reassured me that I'd eventually marry when I found someone I wanted to clean up after (paraphrased slightly). He's not married any more, anyway.

    But is it possible that the nice lady on 'about us' is confused about the names of her own grandchildren? My older female relatives did tend to run through a list of family names until they hit the right one for the person they wanted to address, but they stuck to real names.


  10. ...every time I try to read that blog my iPad freezes up. Really! Do you think it's a SIGN? I think I have the gist of it though, from everyone's comments. Probably better for my blood pressure if I don't read it...


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