Tuesday, 9 October 2012

That All-Purpose Tory Party Speech

"I hereby pledge that this Conservative party will:

  • allow home-owners to defend themselves against burglars
  • deport foreign criminals as quickly as they have recovered from being attacked by home-owners
  • allow victims of crime a say in the perpetrators' punishments. Within reason - obviously we don't want people being broken on the wheel, or flayed alive. Or let off.
  • reduce the red tape on business
  • give people a choice over which schools their children go to - especially if they pay for it
  • restrict the power of Europe over the way we do things in Britain
  • crack down on late-night public disorder
  • crack down on people who pretend to be disabled to claim benefits
  • crack down on people who pretend not to have jobs to claim benefits
  • crack down on people who live on the streets to pretend they're homeless to claim benefits
  • reduce the deficit.

"And I further promise that next year, when we have done none of these, we will promise to do exactly the same things. That is what being Conservative means - we stick by our promises."

1 comment :

  1. Conservatives is a stupid name for a political party that is nearly as Red as Trotsky.

    Bring back the hanging, flogging, torturing conservatives of my youth.....

    Oh, we have done, disguised by that notorious turncoat Nick Clegg.

    ReplyDelete

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