I'm really not happy with Hnaef.
He sounded the air-horn just after my extended digression into the parallels between Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh and the prophet Jeremiah. I asked him how many people had dropped off and he told me "all of them". Turns out that he'd agreed with everyone that he'd wake them all up once he judged that the sermon was all over bar the shouting.
Is that because they were kept awake during the Readings?
ReplyDeleteHave you considered letting them sleep through those and then having coffee before the actual sermon?
Coffee takes c 30 minutes to take effect. So I'd have to get them to drink coffee before the readings, then let them have the nap.
DeleteGlucose tablets?
ReplyDeleteBuckets of water seem to work.
DeleteI've been thinking.
ReplyDeleteIf it takes 30 minutes for the effects of coffee to kick in, how about you start your services at the end and work to the beginning?
You could have coffee and biscuits first, then collect everyone's tithe while they are still awake.
You would preach your sermon and you could even have a brief quizz afterwards inviting people to guess what the Readings for it might have been.
You would not have to destroy your ancient pews and the hard work of your flower ladies with jets of water.