Friday, 5 October 2012

Orcs and Orchestration

The Archdruid has been giving me a royal ribbing over this article about Colleen Lachowicz, the American Senate candidate who has been revealed as a secret Orc in World of Warcraft.

Eileen is, sadly, well aware that on Saturday evenings, my friends Norris, Horace, Boris and I are inclined to play a little game of Dungeons and Dragons. The original version, of course. I have no truck with the so-called "Advanced" version that was sprung on unsuspecting gamers in the early 1980s.

But she cannot imagine the excitement that the imagination can conjure up, when one is descending below a ruined castle to seek out malevolent kobolds in the mystic tunnels. My half elven warrior-maid, Bronwen Mothsflesh, is the veteran of a hundred fearful battles, and as a result has risen to level 6 fighter / level 3 magic-user.

I am sorry if Eileen cannot understand it. But if you have not scaled the heights of the Fells of AsGollum in the snows of winter, or forded the deeps of Khazad Drain, or descended to the Depths of Sharples, you have not truly lived. And who cares what you have done in real life? This is adventure. But you have to consider the other side.

Clearly, Ms Lachowicz lives in a world of clear black and white. Evil and good are sharply defined. Those on the "Lawful/Good" side are aligned with all that is right; they are the attractive ones - elves of light, paladins and holy clerics. While those of the Chaotic/Evil tendency are the goblins, the kobols, the rock-trolls: in short, all that is ugly and opposed to civilisation. Sitting in darkness, they gibber and squawk their hatred of the good creatures. They must be opposed, and driven to utter destruction. There is no room for negotiation or compromise.

She should be a shoo-in for the State Department if the Republicans get in.


  1. I confess I prefer Warcraft III to WOW because I like my RPGs to have a story. Also, it's such fun (speaking as a middle-aged Sunday School Teacher and Member of the Church Flower Arranging Team - though I am a mere Floral Padawan still) to play as the Undead. Well, everyone needs a hobby!

    love Mags B x

  2. I like Everquest II, although I briefly tried WOW. What's odd about that?

    Besides, when you sort of end up in a place of the wrong alignment and no one will do business with you, it teaches you empathy with outsiders. Or how to deal with frustration, or something, although doing so by smashing orcs is probably not the best method.

  3. Your timeline is a bit out, in 1977 both Advanced and Basic D&D were published (although it took two years for all the original three Advanced books to come out). That was about the time I started playing (a variant based on Original D&D with the Advanced Players Handbook).

    Never played any online role playing games, although I do enjoy playing console games and still play table top, Ars Magica and Deadlands at the moment.

    Attacking someone for a harmless hobby is of course just what one would expect from Republicans.

    1. I expect Burton could only afford to buy a D&D book in the early 80s. Being just a short-trousered wannabe accountant in those days, he probably figured the Basic D&D book was cheaper. Besides, the Fiend Folio was only just printed before the 80s arrived.

  4. I met my husband in a paper dungeon.


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