We've seen very poor congregations this weekend. Everybody's headed to Cornwall for a few days, believing it will make them spiritually richer.
I blame it on our guest preacher, Johnz Alazn Jeromez, who gave us an inspirational message on Thursday night, telling us his recipe for reconciliation with God, a restful conscience and a path to spiritual growth. Or, specifically, it's because he always writes sermons on his battered old Dell Mini. The dodgy keyboard connections mean that he randomly inserts the letter "Z" into all his written communication.
Penance. He was supposed to be preaching on the benefits of penance.