Part of my fascination is wondering whether, if the victims were not Plod, the case would ever have come to court.
And the other part comes from this staggering piece of "defence":
The lawyer said that during his work as a lorry driver, his client drove “millions upon millions of miles” and had an unblemished driving record other than receiving points on his licence for not wearing a seat belt and using a mobile phone.
If this fool has driven "millions upon millions of miles"' he's probably too tired to drive. And his "unblemished driving record" apparently consists of (at least two) occasions when he has driven causing danger to others, or himself. And goodness knows it's hard to get caught doing either of those offences. He must have been on the phone pretty well permanently for any copper to have noticed.
The court gave this fool a two-month driving ban. Personally I'd ban him from leaving the house. He's a danger to himself and everybody else.