Thursday, 13 November 2014

Church Definitions - "A Good Meeting"

Everyone got home before midnight;
people could remember what happened at the last meeting;
nobody mentioned the minister-before-last and how he did things properly;
nobody died of old age;
they didn't have to re-form the committee without the minister, in the car park afterwards;
no blood feuds were started or got worse;
the treasurer is still in post (and not in the Post);
somebody mentioned God;
all the windows are still intact;
nobody threatened to call in English Heritage or the Victorian Society;
coffee wasn't served before, during or after;
there was an expectation that the Church had a purpose beyond its own yard;
the minister didn't close it down abruptly for reasons of public order;
nobody spent fifteen minutes explaining why it's impossible to raise any more money.

Obviously it will be several weeks before the Secretary finds out if the notes were comprehensible.


  1. Also:

    1, There were no kicked shins under the table.
    2. The subject of the new floor for the church hall wasn't mentioned more than twice.
    3. The complaint from DBF about late share payments was noted for action when the treasurer gets out of prison.
    4. The coopting of the Vicar onto the PCC was discussed but failed to pass.
    5. The Lay Chair was voted in for another 10 year term.
    6. The deanery synod representatives report was well received by the deanery subcommittee of the PCC Secretary.
    7. Mission was mentioned by a fairly young (80) member, but their attention was drawn to the provisions of the minutes of the meeting of 1911, where it was agreed that mission was never discussed in polite society.
    8. The Vicars expenses were vetoed for the third time and sent bak for clarification on why he needed toner for the printer?
    11. The subject of the churchyard memorials being propped up by scaffold poles was delayed until the Lay Chair had been able to consult his Mother, the Churchwarden, Choir Mistress, and head flower arranger.
    12. The treasurer reported that they were to dis-invest in Ethical investments as their return was so poor.

  2. Thank you, as ever, Archdruid. AC in North Wales

  3. Thank you so much for this. You have no idea how much it means to know that other church leaders also have to voluntarily spend time presiding at the almost bad sort of meeting like I did yesterday.

    1. Ah, but if you're presiding at a bad meeting, where does the problem lay?


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