Every week in "Beaker News" we publish a list of those who are ill, so everyone can pray for them. Underneath it we put a list of people who've died at this time of year, so people can wonder what they're supposed to pray about it. I like to encourage a bit of theological angst.
When Burton was printing the notices this week, unfortunately the photocopier developed a hiccup and printed a horizontal line above the last three people on the "sick" list. Contrary to concern in the Community, I would like to stress that this does not mark the "relegation zone". I can tell that Zedward, for example, must already be feeling better. He came round to check whether there were going to be play-offs.