Breaking news...

Sunday, 22 January 2017

Opening the Big Book of Attendance

The first Sunday service of the Post-Trump era and some interesting stats.

143,000 people at the service.

Total offering: £1.24.

A bigly number, 984, of people converted.

Nobody has services as good as us. Our services are the best.

I met John Stott once. Very intelligent man. Smartest man at All Souls. And he - I was just a young evangelical. But even then I was smart. Very smart. Nobody understand penal substitution as well as me. John Stott, he knew how good I was. I tell you, we can make English Christianity great again. Not John Stott. Me. He could only reach posh people. No energy.

1 comment :

  1. Lies! Media hype! Fake news! With that attendance the offering couldn't possibly have come to more than 18 shillings ninepence three farthings

    ReplyDelete

Drop a thoughtful pebble in the comments bowl