Boat Race Day

A beautiful sunny day as once again we celebrated the Husborne Crawley Alternative Boat Race - our annual tribute to the real thing.  Husborne Crawley lacking anything that might plausibly be described as a river, this year's event took place on the Ouse at Turvey.  Our attempt to stage it on the Lea at Luton last year came to a rapid conclusion, of course, as the oars were stolen.

As is traditional, the eights representing each side have to dress up as people we feel are most closely associated with the two universities depicted.  So this year, the Oxford 8 were depicted as Cardinal Newman, John Betjeman, Michael Palin,  JRR Tolkien, Edward Pusey, John Wyclif, William Golding and Tim Berners-Lee with Alan Bennett as cox.  Likewise, Cambridge were represented by Guy Burgess, Anthony Blunt, Michael Winner, Norman Lamont, Kim Philby, Donald Maclean, Alastair Cambell and David Mellor, with Sid Wadell as cox.  

After a couple at the Three Cranes, and a couple more at Ye Three Fysshes, the crews headed out onto the river below the bridge.  Cambridge's attempt failed early on, when Norman Lamont (Hnaef in a grey wig) caught a crab and went overboard.  In an attempt to avoid then, the Oxford crew swung wildly to the right and crashed into the bank, breaking the taps off the old bath tub they had unwisely used as their boat.  I've no idea how so many of them got in it in the first instance.  As the river filled with half-drowning English theologians, traitors and darts commentators, we realised that the course had in any case been particularly badly chosen, as they were all dragged towards the weir.  A terrible breakdown in Health and Safety planning on my part, I am afraid.

The rapid deployment of lifebelts and ropes meant that we managed to drag our shivering and sodden brothers and sisters to the side, and I am pleased to say that only three or four are still - quite literally - light blue.  The event was once again declared to be a draw.  We continue to hope that one year, one team or the other will stay in possession of their boat and afloat long enough actually to win the race.