Parable of the Talents II - The Sequel

And once again, unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took yet another journey.

After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them once more.

And so he that had received five talents came and brought fifty-five talents, saying, "Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, by shorting RBS I earned myself a bonus of fifty-five talents."

 He also that had received two talents came and said, "Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I invested in the selling of packaged mortgages and now have a  bonus of forty-five talents."

 Their lord said unto them, "Well done, good and faithful servants; ye have been faithful over a few things, I will make you rulers over many things: enter ye into the joy of thy lord, and turn over to me my seven talents."

And the servants replied unto him, "Afraid we've lost your talents due a sudden lack of market liquidity.  But verily we've bought ourselves a couple of nice little villas even in the country, so verily at least we're sorted."

Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, "I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: so having learnt my lesson from thee last time, I put it in the bank."

And his lord said unto him "Well done thou good, faithful and prudent servant.  Verily let's have the talent then - after all these long journeys I am sore in need of a bevvy."

And the servant said, "Sorry to break it to thee, lord.  But it was in Kaupthing.  Still, you got 10 centi-talents back in the talent."

And there was more wailing and gnashing of teeth.