Monday 5 October 2009

SITUATIONS VACANT - THE DISPERSED COMMUNITIES OF SPALDING

The Dispersed Communities of Spalding are looking for a male or female druid with vision, capable of leading our communities forward into new challenges.
We are a group of 12 Beaker communities scattered across the hamlets to the east of Spalding.  

Well, when we say communities, strictly speaking four of these communities have only one member each and there's only twenty-three of us in total. But we are dedicated to keeping true to our roots.  Which is why we insist on worshipping only each within our our own Moot Houses, coming together only for the annual Falling Out ceremony where we remember why we don't get together any more often.

In order to help our communities to reach out to the people in the Spalding area, the new druid must be capable of vision, bringing forward radical ideas to transform the way we "do community".  Which we will ignore.  They must be capable of relating easily with the young, teenagers, the old and the middle aged.  They will be up to date with the very latest ideas in Beaker Worship, but still willing to keep on with the same old pebbles and tea lights regardless.  
They must be good at dealing with frustration, and able to keep their thoughts very much to themselves.

A gifted evangelist and strategist, the main role for the new druid will be to try to work out how to raise the funds to patch up the roofs of 12 Moot Houses, all of which are in dire states of repair.  The boilers have gone in 6 as well.  The new druid must be able to inspire a giving attitude amongst our Folk, without at any point ever mentioning money.  It tends to depress us.

We are a modern and equal-opportunities group of fellowships, and will welcome the right druid, regardless of marital status, sexuality and gender, as long as his wife is good  at baking cakes and they have a couple of kids.

4 comments :

  1. Dear Archdruid,

    you forgot to add the address - to whom do I send my CV?

    In hope,
    Holger (cand. druid)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Have you been involved in drawing up the job descriptions down our way? I'll feed these ideas into the mix. Top drawer.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am very good with knitting sandals; is that sufficient qualification?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I sense a calling to this position....

    I have a large collection of pebbles and tea lights, and have more than a couple of kids, but my "wife " says he won't bake cakes, is that going to be a big problem?

    ReplyDelete

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