The LFT Before Christmas

LFT before Christmas and all through the manse 

Not a person was moving. All were in a trance. 

The minister's hands quivered over the kit 

and watched it. And watched. And scrutinised it.

 

The red control line showed up valid and clear 

and the minister knew that the truth would appear 

And mamma in worry looked over his head 

For fear that another line would show up red. 

 

For how could they cope with a positive line? 

They needed a void - an invisible sign 

that nothing had lurked up the minister's nose 

to lock him inside as the Yuletide cheer rose. 

 

For what would they do, at this late Christmas hour 

should the minister fall 'neath the Omicron power? 

Replacements were  few in the villages round

As the positives piled up like snow on the ground.

 

Christingle, the Crib Service, Songs 'neath the tree

Were now all at risk from this cursed LFT
And Midnight, and Morning, and Boxing Day too

would go out the window if this didn't come through.

So they watched and they waited, till minutes passed by

and they knew it was safe, and gave out a great sigh.

And the minister said, as he turned out the light

in the bathroom, "at least we are safe Christmas night."