Gog and Magog

While mowing the lawn - a late spurt of grass growth has occurred in this week's better weather - I have been pondering that troublesome pair, Gog and Magog, from the book of Revelation. And wondering what can it all mean?

The Good Book tends to discourage us from guessing the times and ways in which the End will come. And yet we are also to read the signs of the times. And I have oft-times identified these two harbingers of Apocalypse, only for my identification to be revealed as sadly missing.

For example, for a while I considered it as Russia and China. But since China now has more Christians than England has members of truly evangelical Baptist churches, one might have to suppose otherwise this old identification no longer applies. When the Wall came down, and the end did not follow within time, times and half a time, I had to reassess.

Likewise, the European Union and the United Nations. And I still wonder. They both demand ever-increasing power, and Mr Van Rompuy could just be the friendly, charismatic oratorical genius that covers up the darkness behind him.

Or maybe Al Gore and Prof Dawkings? That's possible, as representatives of a world super-state and godless science. Although a correspondent has alerted me that I have in fact conflated two different scientists in my reference to Prof Dawkings - one that believes that life started in a soup, while the other thinks the universe started with gravy.  Sorry.  Gravity. Gravity. But if Prof Dawkings is actually two people, then for this identification to be true then Al Gore is maybe not a real person.

In an earlier time, I imagined that Gog and Magog were in fact represented on this earth by Simon and Garfunkel. Certainly 59th St Bridge Song could be seen as leading us in this direction.  But after Garfunkel sang "Bright Eyes", I realised that here was a man of real soul as well as mind-numbing curliness of hair.

Faced with such confusion, it is easy for us to think that Gog and Magog will never appear - that in fact they are in some way truly figurative.  And the City of London tends to lull us into a false sense of security with its friendly giants in the Guildhall. But we must be ever watchful. I notice, for instance, that Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley will be presenting Daybreak on ITV. And I wonder again. I shall stand on the tower and watch. And in time - as is appropriate for the Apocalypse - all will be revealed.

Meanwhile I must return to the garden. I see that Mrs Collins's cat is once again digging around in the leek patch, and I must dispatch it once more into the outer darkness of its own back yard.