Friday 26 July 2019

After Thor-t

Great excitement in the Community after the thunder this morning.

Some say it is God's wrath poured out on Middle England because of our sins in allowing Boris Johnson to be Prime Minister. And, I admit, they have a point.

Incidentally, according to the Jacob Rees-Mogg Style Guide, I should not have put that comma after "And" at the start of that last sentence. But Jacob Rees-Mogg is the living embodiment of Roderick Spode, so who cares. But I digress.

Others say it's Thunor's warning that we haven't got out of Europe fast enough. We should not tarry, but destroy our economy so we can once again, freely and with no interference from Brussels, cower terrified in primal forest and develop webbed feet in the fens. But at least, as we die from curable diseases for lack of supply chain at Dover (clue to Dominic Raab - it's bottom-right. A bit like the current Tory party) we can console ourselves that the depths of our graves will be measured in barleycorns and groats.

But I say, a storm is just a storm. Storms happen.

Storms don't often happen after the temperature has once again gone up to 38C (100F or, after Brexit, "quite hot but I've had to use the mercury to treat Doreen's condition"). It's not the storm that's the problem. It's the heat. It's getting hotter, and it's getting hotter more often.

And I know that the whole plan with Brexit is to destroy our economy and restore all those trees, so we can counter global warming by turning the UK into a Carbon sink. But we're only a small country, and we can't generate enough poverty all on our own to solve the problem.

We really need some of the bigger power houses in the world - the EU or America or China - to do a lot of the heavy lifting. And we need to remember that simply outsourcing our production to China may look like we're being good on paper in reducing emissions - but we're only really shifting our impact offshore.

Well, it's time I went and drove the Beaker Folk into Aspley Heath to pick up some more brushwood. It may help prevent forest fires. And we can light fires in the autumn to ward off the dark and cold. And, more pertinently, it gives us something to boil the water and heat the Community after Halloween.

Want to support this blog? Want a good laugh? (or to shudder at death at any rate? Then here's two ways you can keep the Archdruid in doilies...
If you want someone to share the terrors of death while making you laugh, we have "A Hint of Death in the Morning Air" - 97 poems to make you wonder, laugh or shake your head sadly. At only £1 on Kindle. Or if you want to know what the people in the pews really think, and you prefer your words printed on paper, why not try "Writes of the Church"?  The letters to the Church magazine the vicar really didn't need.


  1. My feet are not webbed !!! we are merely fen trolls

  2. I understand that New Born Babies are to be tested for Boris Syndrome as a matter of urgency. If it is detected early, apparently a treatment is being developed, which involves taking some genes from Jeremy Corbyn and infusing them into the child the mothers milk to produce an equal balance of Buffoon and Joke fit to be a Liberal Democrat.


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