Monday, 1 April 2013

Epistle of Mary Magdalene to the Apostles

Hey you guys!

Weather's lovely here in the South of France. What a honeymoon it's been! Lovely wine, although obviously we've stayed off the seafood. After all, what do you think we are - Gentiles?

Now, we really want to say thanks to you folk. We know that, over the next fifty or so years, you're all going to be crucified, flayed, beheaded, exiled, imprisoned and generally have a really heavy time. And all that time, you're going to say it's because you know Jesus was crucified and rose from the dead. And you all know that what actually happened was, we pulled a fast one on Simon of Cyrene and cleared off for the Riviera! LOL!

What a great bunch of blokes, covering up for us like that. We're going to be really, really thankful to you. I know you'll be wondering how to explain the fact that, having risen from the dead, Jesus disappeared without trace. So I suggest you say he floated off into heaven? It's beyond me why you're all prepared to die heroically for a pack of lies like this, but as I say - you're one heck of a bunch!

Can you say hello to the mum-in-law for me? If we come back, I promise I'll bring some of that smelly French cheese and a nice Bordeaux. Jesus says "hi", but he's off water-skiing at the moment.

Love and kisses

Mary Mags


Inspired by this post from David Keen

1 comment :

  1. should this have a disclaimer at the bottom?..... as told to Melvyn Bargs?


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