Sunday, 14 April 2013

The Perils of Petronella

It was the self-described "Archdruid" next door who drew my attention to this article in the Daily Mail about the trouble a rich, middle-aged woman has, making ends meet in today's world. Eileen's comment was that Petronella Wyatt's face would be improved by being slapped with a wet fish, which struck me as uncharitable.

Poor (apparently) Miss Wyatt has only £80,000 per annum with which to make ends meet. Her woes, and those of her friends in similar conditions, are described in great detail.

It leaves me with a great dilemma. For if we are to believe the Bible, it is difficult for the rich to get into heaven as it is. And what greater irony could there be than that a rich person is unable to get through the eye of a needle, even if they are poor? It seems a terrible injustice.

I notice that Miss Wyatt does not refer to having any lawfully-wedded husband. Maybe this is the root of her problem? For if she is a young-ish lady-about-town in London, trying to live on only the 80 "K" described, life will be difficult for her. Particularly if she has been going out to dinner in her spare time. I believe London has establishments with names such as "McDonald's" and "Angus Steak House", whose prices can mount up quite significantly.

If Miss Wyatt took some advice from me, I am sure things could be improved. My suggestions would be:
a) Find a godly, preferably well-paid man, and marry him.
b) Give up your job.
c) Stay at home and indulge in godly and money-saving pursuits: cooking, darning, knitting your own clothes, maybe managing an allotment.

I can guarantee that Miss Wyatt's life will seem infinitely more well-funded. As long as she commits herself to growing sufficient vegetables to enable her husband and herself to make it through each winter, she will not have to waste money eating out in expensive restaurants. If she makes it her role to ensure that her husband's dinner is on the table when he returns from a day's honest toil - and his sandwiches in the fridge, ready for the morn - she will discover that, between that and darning, she does not have time to spend money in Harrods, go out to dinner, or waste money on fine wines and suchlike sybaritic comforts.

Godly, simple, homely and effective. I offer my advice for what it is worth.

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