Save The MPs

After the success of BUGFAW we weren't expecting to start a new charity so soon, but in the circumstances we felt we had no choice.  So we are starting our new movement, STaMP (Save The MPs).

All over the country, a group of people incapable of living in the modern world are being asked to come to terms with living without the financial support to which they are accustomed.  Mostly they are incapable of doing any kind of normal "work", having no experience of business or management and certainly no chance of doing any manual work or customer service.   Cushioned from making any decisions by a massive Labour majority, Europe, the Civil Service and an over-mighty executive, they have spent their time up to now deciding which of their sixteen sets of sheets to put on their beds, what colour to paint the front rooms of their "second homes" and shuffling through lobbies guided by their minders, or "whips".

Now they have to fend for themselves.  With no discernible useful skills, dumped onto a competitive labour market with only £30,000 of parachute payments, they suffer the indignity and terror of wondering whether they will be Esther Rantzen's next target.

Just 95p will buy a sacked Home Secretary a bathplug.

£1,600 will buy a gothic floating mansion for a bunch of ducks.

£30,000 will build an extension for their unemployed siblings.

£20,000 will cure dry rot in a completely different part of the country.

A couple of quid will buy them a road map of the country so they can find out where their constituencies are supposed to be and maybe buy houses there. 

£300,000 will buy a second home and the trees to plant around the boundaries of the garden.

Can you help?  The good news is that, even if they are admitting they got it wrong now, they don't need our help until next year, when they step down in their own good time.  Unless HMRC gets there first.