Bad Science

An eventful evening yesterday, I thought.

Most of the controversy prevailed around Young Keith's new firework.  In these credit-crunched times, we decided it would be cheaper to make our own from scratch.  As Beaker People will be aware, this has involved collecting the crystallised residue around the edges of the cesspit as one of the source ingredients of the gunpowder.  So many people were deeply relieved that we had finally reached Bonfire night.
In the light of previous engineering endeavours, it probably wasn't surprising that Keith decided to build his rocket out of wood recycled from pallets.  However that did mean that the scale of the thing was quite surprising.  You rarely see a firework 27 cubic feet in capacity.

My chief scientific adviser, Albert Heisenberg, declared himself uncertain about whether this was a good idea. In his view, there was far too much explosive dedicated to going out - and not enough intended to send the firework up.  In any case, he said, the danger of burning pieces of pallet was good enough reason not to light the thing.

As we carried the firework - rather gingerly, I have to admit - out to the Orchard, Dr Heisenberg turned out to be far more certain - shouting "It's a death trap!  You're putting us all in danger!"  With this kind of scientific advice, what could I do?  Naturally I sacked Dr Heisenberg immediately.

When Young Keith lit the device, it was quite a revelation.  Lifting itself off the ground to a height of 2 feet, it then flew wildly round the Orchard.  In retrospect, lighting it in the Orchard was a bad move - as it bounced off the trees it resembled a pin-ball.  However in what I thought was quite an irony, it is fair to say that although we could tell where it was, and how fast it was going, it was quite tricky to judge both at the same time.  Eventually, leaving a pile of Beaker Folk cowering behind the Dairy wall, it flew straight into the Moot House and blew it to pieces.  At which all the people went "ooooh!"  It was very pretty, I must admit.  But we do need a new Moot House now.  And a new scientific adviser.