Much excitement in the press about our latest attendance figures showing we were slightly down in 2009. On average our Occasions were attended by about 2% less people last year. Or Eerwigg, to be precise. He left to join the Guinea Pig Worshippers and never came back.
The Great Guinea Pig says this proves we are a fading force, and all Beaker People should join the Guinea Pig people. At least, I think this is what he said. Once again, the simultaneous translator was having trouble with the collection of squeaks, whistles and burps with which the Great Guinea Pig communicates. But I disagree with His Squeakiness.
What we are actually seeing is a great increase in people taking part in a wider range of Beaker-related activities at different times and in different places. Indeed, any time someone lights a tea light, burns an essential oil or looks at a pebble on the beach and goes "ooh", they're taking part in Beaker worship. Obviously, they don't realise. But they all count.
I think that you possibly count all visitors to this blog and your twitter account as attending worship.
ReplyDeleteThe question would arise, of whether is is hero worship of the ArchDruid or the great deity.
But as fudge and no real evidence of how statistics are collected or validated, you are on safe ground, bit like the CofE, where statistics just published remain a little grey (older attenders) and young people, counting all children who attend school sponsored church attendances.
I actually think that they have missed a trick, by not counting all those who attend School Assemblies as well.
So, having worked out you have slightly (disputed) falling attendance, have you worked out the average age of those attending?
As I have mentioned to numerous headteachers in the area, all school assemblies where children sit cross-legged or where pebbles or tea-lights are employed should actually count towards Beaker statistics. This might have allowed for bonuses for _all_ members of the management team, rather than the rather restricted awards - well, award - allocated this year.
ReplyDeleteHnaef, we've been through this before.
ReplyDeleteIf I were to pay you a bonus then it would compromise your status as Not a Serious Minister (NSM).
I think as it is we're being forward-thinking enough. We are one of the few religious movements in this country to pay _all_ paid ministers a performance-related bonus. And that's a further incentive to me to ensure that we keep all our resources on the front line - where they can be most effective - rather than in the central organisation. By doing this, I can ensure that the payroll is kept to the manageable level of just me, while all our volunteers concentrate on the important mission-related activities of making souvenir pottery and doilies.