Charles II - The Beaker Prince of Snails

It is a known fact that certain catholics revere the late Charles I* as a saint - martyred for the cause of the One True (episcopal) Church by a Puritan clique.  And who are we to decry them, given that said Puritan rat-bags went on to ban Christmas, outlaw dancing and chop down the Maypole in the Strand?

Now when you get to the late Charles's son, the late Charles II, here you are onto more solid Beaker territory.  I wouldn't like to suggest we approve of his adultery.  Not least because the Revd David would declare a campaign against this website.  But in many other respects we think he's a fine Beaker person and perfect to be declared our Patron.

Firstly because he hid in the Royal Oak to avoid Parliament's men.  You see?  Solidly Beaker in principle and practice. Other, lesser princes might have hid in a tree or something, but Charles II had the sense and style to hide in a pub.
Secondly because he, of all sovereigns of England, is associated with Stonehenge.  While still on the run from Parliament, Charles quite cheerfully went off on a trip to Stonehenge, to indulge in the traditional activities of chipping bits off**, taking off his clothes at sunrise*** and counting the stones.
Thirdly because of his interest in the pin-sized snails of Silbury Hill.  I mean, how Beaker is that?  Obscure, natural and associated with the Stonehenge Ceremonial Landscape.
And finally for his love of animals.  His dying words were "let not poor Nelly starve".  How kind a king, to think of the well-being of the elephant in the Tower of London at a time like that.

I owe the second and third of these to Mr Christopher Chippindale's wondrous and magisterial book, "Stonehenge Complete".  Now in its 3rd glorious edition, which I am just reading and will comment upon at the appropriate time - i.e. at the end - with a complete summary of the progress he has made from the 2nd edition.  I haven't read the the 1st edition, but I suspect it consists merely of a grainy snapshot and the words "Just a load of old stones in Wiltshire."  He has probably done some research since then.  I recommend also what must be the most pedantic Amazon review I have ever read of a book.

Since I can't guarantee that you'll have a copy of Stonehenge Complete to hand, I reproduce the late Mr Aubrey's words on the subject, which I have extracted from the Friends of the Ridgeway website.  And yes, "Charles I" is a mistake by Aubrey himself.  No surprise he should write the wrong King's number.  Well, the man had weird ideas about Druids.

Snailes are everywhere; but upon our downes, and so in Dorset, and I believe in Hampshire, at such degree east and west, in the summer time there are abundance of very small snailes on the grasse and corne, not much bigger, or no bigger than small pinnes heads. Though this no strange thing among us, yet they are not to be found in the north part of Wilts, nor on any northern wolds. When I had the honour to waite on King Charles I. And the Duke of York to the top of Silbury hill, his Royal Highness happened to cast his eye on some of these small snailes on the turfe of the hill. He was surprised with the novelty, and commanded me to pick some up, which I did, about a dozen or more, immediately; for they are in great abundance. The next morning as he was abed with his Dutches at Bath he told her of it, and sent Dr. Charleton to me for them, to shew her as a rarity"

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* I am guessing that the link is a genuine website.  It reads like one.  But it looks just a little like a parody.  It's so hard to tell these days.
** I have have made this bit up.
*** And also this bit.  On the other hand, if he had a duchess nearby at the time...