The Day of the Theremin

Is it just me, or can the use of instruments in worship go too far sometimes?

I agreed to Electra organising the music today. She's always been reliable in the past, with a streak of creative unconventionality. Well and fondly I remember the 100-ukulele accompaniment that made such a difference to our rendition of "Just as I am" a few months back. And of all the instruments that might make a spiritual impact on our meetings, the theremin seemed just the thing. How could it go wrong?

Well, to be frank it was just un-nerving. We were halfway through a reading of one of our "Deeply Moving Spiritual Pieces" - I think it was Miss Joan Hunter-Dunn by Betjemann - and suddenly this unearthly noise set up.Yes, it moved us to a new spiritual place but I'm not sure that "freaked" is such a good spiritual place.
And then we got into the more serious processional liturgy - and again, getting the idea that there's a 1960s Cyberman following around as you take part in the Solemn Clockwise Procession is not going to help. Everybody's supposed to keep their eyes forward - in the general way encouraged by Sydney Carter's abysmal "One more step along the world I go" but without the ghastly music. But compared to that spooky howling going on through it all - well, you could almost want Carter back. Until you remember that hitting yourself over the head with a frying pan would be better.

So now the main service is over. And silence falls along with darkness across the Beaker Folk of Husborne Crawley. Except the sound of a few literalists hitting themselves over the heads with frying pans. And somewhere, nagging at the back of your mind, reminding you that Fenris Wolf hasn't let go yet for this winter - the sound of a theremin.

Will you excuse me? I just need to go and put some Brotherhood of Man on the Community PA system. It may just drown out the theremin.