The Never-ending Synod

Sometimes these Druidic Synods do my head.

The Press just latch onto the interesting headlines - "Archdruid attacks the Gnu Atheists". Of course, the Press takes no notice of context. Indeed, most of the Press don't live anywhere near Woburn Safari Park. They don't understand gnus.  They don't talk to gnus. They don't realise the depression engendered by believing you're only there to be eaten by lions, with the entrails mopped up by jackals.  They don't realise just how many gnus are atheists. Which, of course, explains why you see so many gnus wearing anoraks and wondering why they're so lonely.

What the Press and the public don't realise is just how much of the time at Druidic Synods is spent in debating stupid amendments. And amendments to amendments. And amendments to those amendments. Endlessly voting on amended amendments to amendments.  To the point where you can't remember where you started or what the motion was, and you suddenly realise that you're voting in favour of human sacrifice, but only if there are scented tea lights and the Property Committee has a  two-thirds majority in favour.

But today took the biscuit.  Somebody introduced a recursive amendment - which is permitted in the Beaker language, although I believe COBOL struggles with it. The amendment was "that this amendment requires amendment". Which, if it is passed, requires another amendment. Whereas, if it is rejected, proves that it does indeed require amendment, and we have another amendment to it.

I realise that there is a logical way out of this. But I'm not philosopher enough to know what it is. So after three hours of futility, I introduced the Guillotine. And the Synod realised they'd better get out of the place, before I used it.