It serves me right for attempting such dishonesty, but Young Keith has made me seem a fool.
It was the Beaker Quiz this evening and I had done rather well on my specialist subjects - real ale, railways and adding up. But saints are not my greatest area of expertise. Still, with just the "patron saints" round to go, I was level first. And Young Keith appeared to be on my side when, seeing me struggling with one of the questions, he hissed an answer at me.
What a fool I am. It turns out that, although St Anthony of Padua is indeed the Patron Saint of Lost Things - he was not martyred by being pushed down the back of a sofa.
He was a bloke, so I suspect he was crushed by a miraculous reappearance of all his lost car keys and spectacles.
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