Succession Planning

This morning a pericope floats round my head:

Woe is me! For I have become like one who, after the summer fruit has been gathered, after the vintage has been gleaned, finds no cluster to eat; there is no first-ripe fig for which I hunger.

I've no idea what it means, but certainly all the figs blew down in the night, and I don't fancy taking on the Killer Wasps who have put their black-and-yellow flag under the tree and claimed the land for Good Queen Wasptoria.

So instead I've been investigating the source of the rumours that I'm planning to step down next year. And when I say 'planning' the rumours seem to mean 'going to be forced into'.
I've heard that some are saying I should make way for "a taller druid", whatever that means. Apparently in these troubled times we need somebody posher, with a more liberal attitude to - well, frankly to everything. And if we are going to continue to see assemblies 'of a broadly Beaker nature' in some of of our local schools, it is suggested, we need someone who actually believes in assemblies.

I've no idea who's been putting these ideas around on Beaker Internet forums, as clevely he is using a pseudonym. Well, don't worry, 'Hafen', I will work it out.

Need I do more than point out the parallel with Mr Blair? After three centuries of ruinous wars, self aggrandisment and passing endless laws so that his lawyer wife could make more money, Tony Blair was so disliked that we encouraged Gordon Brown to plot against him. However Tony took the hint and went off to become the Supreme Leader of the World's Religions and, having the right track record, to bring peace to the Middle East. And then we found we had Gordon, micro-manager of financial insanity, distributor of cheap gold and Scourge of Bigots.

I know you're all wondering where Gordon is these days, and I can tell you that he's in a good place. Occasionally he still throws phones at us when he thinks "Ed" is out to get him. But mostly he just sits in the Peaceful Room, contemplating a tea light and moving the budgets that he still believes he controls around. It's bad news for Social Services in Gordon's world this week , I can tell you.

But you see the pattern. When Tony left we got Gordon. When Maggie was knifed we got - you know - that bloke. When Solomon went they got Rehoboam. Better the devil you know, as Gadaffi maybe should have suggested.

Anyway, enough of the rumour-mongering. Remember that the one who wields the knife never wears the mitre. I mean crown. And we religious types have better things to do than be ambitious. Like pray and do good things.