Real Traditional Celtic Worship

It being an  eerie and other-worldly time of year today, I got the inevitable request that we did some "proper Celtic worship". They decided that it was time to go for the real "Scent of the Hebridean Isles" experience.

I tried to dissuade them. Begged them. But they said no, it's the right time of the year so we're going to celebrate in the Traditional Celtic Style.

So I got them to stand in water for six hours, in the Celtic tradition. Obviously, this being the Husbourne brook and not the sea, they were only in it up to their ankles, but that didn't stop them complaining that they were cold. So I got Hnaef to play the bagpipes at them, and then they stopped moaning about the brook.

But they asked me - what about St Kevin and the blackbird's nest - can we go some way towards re-creating that? And I must admit, it gave me pause for thought - I mean, St Kevin? That's as likely as St Wayne or St Kayleigh, isn't it? But it turns out they were right. Proper Celtic saint and all. But I didn't see how we could get blackbirds to nest in their hands - particularly at this time of the year - so I compromised. We nipped back up to the Great House for supplies, and then threw some frozen chickens at them. Mind you, we stopped that fairly quick. Partly because it seemed a waste of chickens, and partly because most of the Beaker People were stuck in the mud at the bottom of the brook. Where's the sport in throwing birds at a standing target?

So to complete the Celtic Experience, we read a three-hour service in Latin to them, while Young Keith threw buckets of ice-cold water over them. Obviously we could have got cold with all this going on, but the good news is that in true Celtic and monastic style we'd a bottle of Buckie wine to keep the chill out.

All in all, it's true to say that the Beaker People have had better days. But I've had a great time. It goes against the grain, but I reckon we should have a Traditional Celtic Day again.

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By way of rehabilitating St Kevin, notice the following comment on his Orthodoxwiki entry:

"Kevin valued his solitude very much; overmuch, some would say. When, at the beginning of his hermit's life, a woman followed him constantly, trying to get him to marry her, he eventually solved the problem by pushing her off a cliff."

Maybe I'm warming to him after all.