Monday 27 May 2019

The Incense Bubble Explodes

In theory, on a Late May Bank Holiday, it was a great idea. Fun, yet religious. Suitable for all ages, but a bit juvenile at base,

We've used the idea of bubbles as symbols of prayers before. And some liked it. And some said it was drivelling childishness and why couldn't we use incense like a grown-up church.

And it was Young Keith's idea to combine the two. By connecting a bubble-blower to an incense burner, we had an incense blower. And the use of warmer air meant the bubbles went for miles, dropping the scents of Zion over this Central Bedfordshire Eden. It was brilliant. The happy looks of the children, the hint of frankincense on the breeze - genius.

But it had a side-effect we weren't expecting. After we'd run the device for an hour, we heard rumours that there were sheep singing metrical psalms in a field off Horsepool Lane. And it turned out an entire flock had gone Anglo-Catholic. You've no idea what a shock it is, to see sheep pulling the bits of whispy wool off the barbed wire and trying to turn it into lace. I mean, we're a traditional lace-making area. But the hooves are such a drawback.

Meanwhile down the Ridgmont Road some cows had a particularly strong batch of bubbles burst in the spinney next to their field. A few converted immediately to Opus Dei, and most of the rest to the Oxford Moovement. But the ones who really got a powerful dose decided to stand as MEPs for the Brexit Party.  Talk about scenes. Apparently they've heard that we import two-thirds of the cheese we eat, and it's a disgrace.

And then we ran out of frankincense, so Keith stuck some joss sticks in instead. Now there's an outbreak of Hare Krishna in Aspley Guise and now we've got the council round trying to work out if we constitute a public menace. I mean, we usually do. But this is a new one on us.

So next time we use bubbles in worship, we're going back to washing up liquid and those little blowers you hold in your hand. But we're not giving up on Keith's machine. We've discovered with a bit of plumbing you can get it to drift the smell of new-baked bread and coffee over the Community. Sales in Brasserie Beaker are up 40%.



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3 comments :

  1. Having raised cattle in my youth, I now understand why the Oxford Moovement had such an appeal when I went to seminary. And perhaps I even inhaled a stronger dose of incense bubbles along the way, as I've ended up with my own version of ecclesiastical "Brexit" by becoming an Anchorite. Blessings! (Your blog always makes me smile!)

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  2. Incense is lovely, I hadn't thought of blowing it out in bubbles though?

    Unfortunately, as I am in a moderate liberal parish, we don't do incense, although we had our retired Priest sprinkling Holy Water, drenching us during the vacancy. His history is interesting. Ordained while a Police Officer, went on to be a Parish Priest, Cathedral Canon and now he graces our benefice.

    He has all of the attributes of a Good Anglo Catholic Priest who has retired with COPD from years of breathing incense.

    So, all of those who attended the Walsingham Pilgrimage need to look to their future health and well being and not get to over excited in inhaling the incense smoke.

    And those sheep and cattle that you have converted, will need a vet to check them out before they go to the great slaughter house in the sky, as they might not be fit for human consumption and end up as Pet Food.

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  3. What a shame the wind was blowing in the wrong direction when this experiment took place. It sounds delightful. If our much-hated local incinerator plan goes ahead I may try to sneak a few grains of Prinknash into the lorry loads of dirty plastic and restore the wearing of the Ampthill and Flitwick barettaon non-state occasions.

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