Friday 3 May 2019

Pushing on to a Clearer Future

So it's fair to say that I'm disappointed by the response to our Week of May Festivities, "7 Days of Tea Lights and Pebbles". Three days in, and so far only one person has attended. Despite me being clear that I've always been clear that, if you're going to worship around Maytime, you need to do it in a Beaker way. That's always been clear.

Meanwhile Drayton Parslow has held a rival event at his Funambulist Baptist chapel - "A Thousand People for Joyless Godliness". Three days in, and so far only one person has attended.

Across the meadow, the Fertility Beaker Folk have been holding their "Get Down and Dirty for the Earth" festival. Three days they've been at it - I use this expression guardedly - and I can still hear "Big Yellow Taxi" belting across the meads. Meanwhile old Revd Chaine-Lynke's "Liberal Theology Revival" has been a surprising success in the Reading Room. 25 people every day, all arguing over "The Myth of God Incarnate". I don't know why they're arguing. It's been clear for 40 years that it's drivel. That is surely clear.

Anyhow, I met Drayton Parslow while walking "Bone-crusher", the Community Hound. And, after I'd retrieved Drayton's leg from Boney's jaws, we had a chat about our respective festivals.

And we've come to the conclusion that what the total unpopularity of our tea lights, pebbles and fundie misery has made clear, is that we must push on with tea lights, pebbles and fundie misery.

So we've extended the festivals for another week. Eventually if we keep on doing them, everyone is sure to come round to it. On that much, I've always been clear.




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3 comments :

  1. Tis ordained that all truly God fearing kindred pass the meddlesome Maytime within the ramparts of the Quivering Brethren tabernacle in seclusion lest they be tempted by the wayward sukebind. What power can such revelries wield against the infinite edification of Amos and the magic lantern slides of the Babylonian exile? None!

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  2. I thought that the Beaker Folk were a faithful lot, ruled by the Rod of Iron wielded in the form of a Cricket Bat by the Arch Druid. They in obedience would leave the slavery of the Tea Light and Doilly factory and worship in fear of retribution if they didn't. Obviously there is something amiss in the Leadership of the Beaker Folk, has the Arch Druid gone soft? Has her fearsome Cricket Bat been splintered and ruined by constant use on Beaker Skulls? or, has she had a change of heart and become a "Collaborative" leader, who is prepared to even engage with Fumbleist Baptists?

    There is something awry among the Beaker Folk, perhaps the succession planning needs putting into operation and the Arch Druid be succeeded by someone more willing to instill discipline among the Beaker Folk.

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