Saturday, 30 January 2021

Charles: King and Martyr

Archdruid: Today we remember Charles, King and Spaniel.

All: Martyr.

Archdruid: You sure about that? 

All: Yes. We keep telling you.

Archdruid: Okey Dokey. Charles, King and Martyr. Not Spaniel.

All: Patron Saint of Losers.

Archdruid: You just made that up. 

All: You started it with the Spaniel.

Archdruid: So today we remember Charles, King and Martyr

All: Who should never have trusted in Ruperts

Archdruid: Who was cavalier with his reign

All: And believed in a divine, God-given right to rule.

Archdruid: Can't see what's wrong with that, mind?

All: Wouldn't you rather have democracy?

Archdruid: Let's put it this way. Democracy is what gives you lot the vote.

All: Good point. We think.

Archdruid: But at this time of remembering King Charles let us also accept there were good people on both sides.

All: More like good people on neither...

Archdruid: And let us give thanks that never since has this country been rent asunder by two groups, nearly balanced in number, and equally devoted to their ideaologies, with ruinous affects on our security and prosperity and.... oh yeah, it just did didn't it?

All: And Boris Johnson even cancelled Christmas.

Boris Johnson: Not enough, as it turned out.


Archdruid: Go into all the world in two vests.

All: Cos it's pretty parky out there. 


  1. I didn't know that a King Charles Spaniel was executed and King Charles was spirited away to serve as an Minister in the Kirk, directly opposed to the Puritan guy who wanted his death. I knew that the history books were trumpist truths, but this takes the biscuit

  2. I remember being told years ago (by an elderly lady who happened to own one) that the King Charles spaniel was the only dog legally allowed in a church. Having seen various breeds present in church over the years I presume this was a myth or perhaps a law which no longer applies.


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