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Monday, 26 December 2016

"Through the Bible" With Nigel Farage

Welcome to our special liturgical event. Readings from the Bible, with brief reflections from Nigel Farage.

Isa 24: Behold, the Lord will lay waste the earth and make it desolate,
    and he will twist its surface and scatter its inhabitants.
And it shall be, as with the people, so with the priest;
    as with the slave, so with his master;
    as with the maid, so with her mistress;
    as with the buyer, so with the seller;
    as with the lender, so with the borrower;
    as with the creditor, so with the debtor.
The earth shall be utterly laid waste and utterly despoiled;

    for the Lord has spoken this word.

Nigel Farage: Ignore all negative messages from the Prophet Isaiah and have a great day! Happy Christmas!

Matt 2:  Now after they had left, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you; for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him. Then Joseph got up, took the child and his mother by night, and went to Egypt, and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet, ‘Out of Egypt I have called my son.’

Nigel: Ignore all negative messages from the Apostle Matthew. This is the kind of free movement that means kings like Herod are unable to control their borders and murder the Messiah. Was Egypt equipped to accept this wave of migrants?

Rev 18: ‘Alas, alas, the great city,
    Babylon, the mighty city!
For in one hour your judgement has come.’
And the merchants of the earth weep and mourn for her, since no one buys their cargo any more, cargo of gold, silver, jewels and pearls, fine linen, purple, silk and scarlet, all kinds of scented wood, all articles of ivory, all articles of costly wood, bronze, iron, and marble, cinnamon, spice, incense, myrrh, frankincense, wine, olive oil, choice flour and wheat, cattle and sheep, horses and chariots, slaves—and human lives.

Nigel: Ignore all negative messages from John the Divine. We can look forward to enjoying a free trade relationship with Babylon the Great once we are freed from the restrictive yoke of the European Union.

Luke 7:  ‘What did you go out into the wilderness to look at? A reed shaken by the wind? What then did you go out to see? Someone dressed in soft robes? Look, those who put on fine clothing and live in luxury are in royal palaces. What then did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet.'

Nigel: Ignore all negative messages from Jesus. Did you see me in the golden lift with Donald Trump? I should be the bloody ambassador, I should.

Deut 10: For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who is not partial and takes no bribe, who executes justice for the orphan and the widow, and who loves the strangers, providing them with food and clothing. You shall also love the stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.

Nigel: Ignore all negative messages from Moses. We are a Christian country with a Christian constitution and a Christian monarch. Happy Christmas!

4 comments :

  1. So who are actually the sad small-minded people? Perhaps the Christmas gift of a mirror may be appropriate.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Isaiah 58
    6 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
    to loose the chains of injustice
        and untie the cords of the yoke,
    to set the oppressed free
        and break every yoke?
    7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
        and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
    when you see the naked, to clothe them,
        and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
    8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
        and your healing will quickly appear;
    Nigel Ignore all Negative messages from Third Isaiah and have a great new Year

    ReplyDelete

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