Sunday 11 December 2016

Liturgy for Unpacking the Christmas Lights

Song: The Knot There's no Untying

Archdruid: How tangled are these Christmas lights?

All: In the dark places have they been knit together.

Hymn: Light up the Fire

Archdruid: Oh Lord, how tangled is our flex.

All: Our neighbours say "aha!" as their lights shine on their garage. Their see-saw Santas pour contempt on us.

Archdruid: But I am staring at a cardboard box full of hideously knotted plastic and wire.

Young Keith: I carefully wound them last January...

Archdruid: It's not you. It's physics.

All: No! It's the evil spirits that creep into lofts during the summer and ties up Christmas lights into impossible knots. We think they work for Wilkinsons.

Archdruid: Does anyone know how to untangle this terrible mess?

All: It's a Gordian Knot.

Hnaef: Rejoice! For I have a classical education! I know how to deal with a Gordian knot!

All: No!  They're plugged in.....

Hnaef cuts the Gordian knot with a bread knife.  There's quite a lot of light for a short period of time. Then the circuit breaker cuts in.

Archdruid: Not again. Not four years running. Little Hnaefs, go and get your dad a brandy. Charliie, Keith - can you nip down to Wilko's and get some new lights?

Song: Bling out Solstice Bells

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