Close investigation revealed the awful truth. Parts of the roof appeared to have melted away. Now, wattle and daub is a traditional and ancient building material. We never dreamed it could disappear. But after a brief investigation, a confession was forthcoming from Young Keith. We all know his uncle, the police officer, without whom far fewer Beaker People would be at liberty than is currently the case. But it was from his cousin, the Cash and Carry operator, that we purchased the wattle. Not that we realised at the time that he was a Cash and Carry operator. No, Young Keith had told us he was a builders' merchant. There was no way, in the dark of late autumn, racing to roof the Moot House before the snows came, that we could have noticed that our wattle was in fact Twiglets. OK, a few of us commented on the yeasty smell, but we put it down to an easterly wind carrying the scent of Charles Wells across from Bedford.
Young Keith will be spending the next few months walking around the community with a clown face on, and wearing a pointed hat. This is not to punish him by humiliation - no, we Beaker Folk believe in education. This is to teach him not to do it again.
Now we have to work out what to do with the roof. Anyone got any wicker?
No, no wicker here, but I hear McVitie's makes some excellent roof slates.
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